The other morning Jason and I were waking up early for work. It was 5:45 and COLD outside. We didn't want to roll ourselves out of bed. We'd just finished celebrating New Years and Jason had to get himself off to work. We were working up the courage to expel ourselves from our warm bed when Jason whispered to me, "you're my best friend."
I got misty eyed saying it back. Without knowing even what had happened, over the last few months of marriage, we've started becoming each other's best friend.
I've been critical of others in their first months of marriage and how they isolate themselves from others. Marriage has always been a relationship that in ways, trumped my relationships with female friends. Without a husband, I often felt a little hurt that I'd lose the closeness of girlfriends and they would gain such an important friend. In our marriage scenario, I moved across the country so isolation with friends happened all at once, when we drove out of Atlanta. In moving, I have only a few friends here to spend time with. Jason, on the other hand, has many friends here in Minnesota. I've OFTEN felt guilty keeping him from them. I've seen us the same as every other newly married couple and dreaded what Jason's friends might be feeling from Jason as he and I get to know each other better. I can never replace Jason's important friends he's known his whole life before me and likewise, he'll never take the place of my best girlfriends.
I'm eating my "I'll Never's" as I realize we've done a lot of what I promised I'd never do. These few months spending a ton of time with each other, have been essential for Jason and I to get to know each other not only as spouse's, but also as best friends.
There's more and more "becoming" that will need to happen. Given the fact we've barely known each other a year, there are a million more stories to fill each other in on, and a million more stories to live with each other. But I'm so thankful as we're investing in our marriage, we're building a friendship.
So in short, the first week of January I learned that Jason is my best friend. I also admitted to myself another of many "I'll Nevers" that are now true of me, and I'm both sorry and not sorry for that fact.